everything works in your arms.

My best friend is back in town for a week. I forgot what it was like having her around. After i left her house tonight to finally come back home, i just sat there and realized how legitimately happy i am with life. It just kind of all hit me at once, you know, the over whelming feeling of being perfectly content. Moments like that are rare and fleeting sometimes. But this was just what i needed. I forgot how she just makes everything seem that much better. She makes life come alive.

/ / / /

it's not that i'm weak. And no, it's not that i'm holding on. It's just those little things you know? You let go of someone and you think and know that your okay, but then you find an old photo, or note, or you turn over the bottom of your shoe which has permanent marker all over it because they drew it there and then it hits you. It's those small reminders that get you all the time when your not looking for any reminders whatsoever. He was was there when my grandma died in the spring, he was the one to hug me and talk about it. At Christmas my aunt got me a picture frame of my grandma in it, that said I love you. It was sad to see this and it just reminded me how this was our first Christmas without her. It was hard to understand. I went to his house later that night and it was only him who was able to cheer me up. It was like i didn't even need words, he just made things better. I see that picture frame and I feel the sorrow but i think also of how he had the tenancy to make everything better. I see it everyday and sometimes i'm tempted to move it or turn it face down but I don't because sometimes those small reminders are what we need. We need to cling onto the hope that there will always be someone out there who can fix things. I mean i can fix things myself, but it was as simple as that, things just worked in his arms.