take it all.

There are some days that i can't help but get so frustrated with everything. Today was one of those. I don't know why, or even how i can get like this, but i just do and it all hits me at once, and suddenly i'm swept under this suffocating wave of anger. It's not that i'm an angry person, or even a bitter one. My middle name, Joy, is always a prominent part of my character. But I just look around me and i see so much that i want to change and i know that it's not my responsibility, but i can't help it. I hate how she's so judgmental, and i hate how he just doesn't think, i hate how she just pushes everyone away, and i hate how he's so selfish, i hate how she doesn't realise the effect her words have on people, and i hate the way he fails to see how he hurts people. I hate how she is so stubborn, and i hate how he thinks he's the shit. I hate how they are so wraped up in their own world to notice anyone else, i hate how they don't care about anyone but themselves, i hate how they lie to get what they want, and i hate how they can get so fake.

I can keep listing off all these things in my head of things that i don't like about people, but the worst part is at the end when i realise i can see every single one of these un-desireable traits within my own character. It's a painfull reminder of how far i still have left to go. Change does not come easy...